The following is the text of the sermon preached Sunday, July 6,
by Richard Hanley. The text was submitted to the Annual
Conference Office in mid-June and may have been modified for the
actual presentation.  

Richard Hanley 
Focus: Count Well the Cost of Discipleship 
Title: "Launch Out, Into the Deep" 
Scripture: Luke 18:18-30  

1997 Church of the Brethren Annual Conference Long Beach,
California 
July 6, 1997   


In the cruelest month of the year, the year 1957, 1 went with my
father to an estate sale. It was a cold and damp day, not
suitable for farming. I was only seven, and hadn't traveled very
far. We drove twelve miles to the county seat, Sigourney, Iowa.
That's not unlike the "Green Acres" trip from Hooterville to
Pixley.    
   At the estate sale, in an adventurous spirit, I wandered away
from my father as he engaged in repeated conversations about the
price of corn and hogs and weather. I wandered, and explored, and
soon found myself at the edge of the property which was for sale,
looking at the crowd which was huddled against the weather and
toward the auctioneer.    
   As I studied the crowd, a boy I didnt know approached me. He
was a little bigger, somewhat wild looking, and scowling. He came
close- too close, and said to me, "I don't like you!" My pulse
jumped, and I began to think about how cold wet and muddy the
ground looked. I wondered where my father was. The boy's next
words for some reason didn't surprise me. "I want to fight you,"
he scowled. I was afraid, very afraid. I opened my mouth to
speak, not knowing what would come out, and pointed at the most
menacing, biggest, ugliest farmer I had ever seen, and said (not
knowing who he was) "That's my daddy and he'll be mad." The boy
looked at me, and then at the farmer, and with a menacing scowl,
walked away. The rest of that day, the rest of that spring and
summer, I always knew where I could find my father.    
   These days are difficult and uncertain. The times are
changing. The world and now (after the fact) the church- is
changing. We need to feel the presence of God. The rich young
ruler in Luke's gospel, 18:18-30 was there, in the presence. What
can we learn from him? From this hard saying in the Gospel of
Luke, I've concluded that finding ourselves in the presence of
God will not depend upon what hoops we have jumped through, how
many or which people we are leading, the amount of money in our
pension funds, or even knowing all the rules. Finding ourselves
in the presence of God in the days ahead will depend upon whether
or not we have abandoned and set aside those things in us that
are barriers to our recognition of God's presence. Finding
ourselves in God's presence will depend upon our ability,
willingness and discipline in saying what Peter said to Jesus in
Luke 18:28; "Look, we have left our homes and followed you."   
   The cost of discipleship for each one of us, is the personal,
emotional and spiritual expense of staying in the presence of
God. What must we set aside to increase our awareness of God's
presence and God's grace? There are many ways we can think and
talk about staying in God's presence. Some may say they practice
the presence, others may say they follow Jesus, others may say
they are centering in Jesus. But let's not philosophize about it,
let's practice it.     
   I'm content to say I want to follow Jesus; to follow so
closely that. when the world around me is cold and threatening,
Jesus is close, warm and comforting.    
   The cost of discipleship could be our interior bartering of
worries for prayer. The cost could be the trading of work time
for time in solitude. The cost could be focusing not on where our
critics are, but where God is. The cost could be setting aside
our differences, and lifting up what we have in common. We have
in common the living Christ. What was His cost of discipleship?
What will the cost be for you? What will bring you into the
presence of God? In these changing moments, nothing you can do
for the Church of the Brethren is more important than bringing
yourself into God's presence, abandoning yourself to the love of
God, looking to Jesus, coming to the foot of the cross, turning
your eyes upon Jesus, surrendering ... launching out into the
deep. In discipleship and my personal interior, spiritual life,
my goal and description is "being close."    
   Discipleship, or being close, depends upon the degree to which
we are disciplined in prayer. Prayer ... as my brother in Christ
(and in flat and beautiful places) David Wine has challenged us,
is the vehicle, the process, and the practice which will bring us
most certainly and consistently into the presence of God. How
many of us implemented his challenge to prayer? How many of us
are disciplined in prayer? An urgent need for all of us in
relation to prayer, to our closeness to God, and to the next year
in the church is the increase of our ability, inclination, and
tendency to listen.       
   In his book, "Opening to God," Thomas Green writes this about
prayer: "Hearing or listening is a good metaphor for prayer. The
good prayer is above all a good listener. Prayer is dialogue; it
is a personal encounter in love. When we communicate with someone
we care about, we speak and we listen. But even our speaking is
responsive: What we say depends upon what the other person has
said to us. Otherwise we don't have real dialogue, but rather two
monologues running along side by side." Part of the cost of
discipleship for us may be the transition from constant
petitioning of God, addressing God, speaking to God, to a
dialogue in which we begin to listen. We need top hear God's
words for us.    
   A man made an appointment with his psychiatrist, for himself
and his son, and said to the doctor, "I don't understand my son,
he won't listen to me." The doctor replied, "Say that again
please." The man repeated, "I don't understand my son, he won't
listen to me." The psychiatrist said, "once more please, very
slowly." The man repeated, " . . . ". The doctor's simple reply
was one that all of us in the Church of the Brethren need to
hear, individually and as a body, "You can never understand
anyone, until YOU listen to them." Being quiet with God can be as
important as being close.    
   Is there a correlation between the quality of our
relationships with sisters and brothers in Christ, and the
quality of our personal communion with God? That's my conviction.
I believe the correlation is direct. If we are unable to listen
to sisters and brothers in Christ, and really hear them, can we
listen to God and really hear God's word for us? It was
proclaimed to God's people in Jeremiah 5:2 I.; "Hear this, O
foolish and senseless people, who have eyes, but do not see, who
have ears, but do not hear . . ." And Jesus asked in Mark 8:18,
after the feeding of the 4,000; "Do you have eyes and fail to
see? Do you have ears and fail to hear?" Being quiet with each
other, listening to each other carefully, will be of great
benefit in the months ahead.    
   At this urgent time in the life of our beloved denomination,
we each have a personal responsibility, not to evaluate the
beliefs and practices of the person to our right or left, but to
count our own cost of discipleship, to come draw nigh unto God,
and to listen. Being close and being quiet, I pray, will describe
our discipleship and our relationships in the months ahead. The
most important contribution to the Church of the Brethren that
each one or anyone of us can make may be the personal cost of
attending in a disciplined way to our own spiritual growth.    
   One other vital trait which we can acquire through a
disciplined approach to our spiritual life was taught to me by an
uninstructed person. In a group home for severely handicapped and
profoundly retarded adults, I worked for a few years of my life
with an unforgettable friend named Larry Mast. Larry was my age,
and of similar stature. Deprived of oxygen at birth, Larry was in
some ways and by some measures profoundly limited. Larry had only
seven things to say. If you were limited to seven phrases what
would they be? Larry said; mom, hello there, what's that, (being
a good Iowa boy like me) John Deere, Parkersburg (being from that
town in Iowa), mmmm thank you, and lastly those words I utter
frequently, let's eat.    
   Each day at the dinner table, frequent acts of valor and agony
were played out. For some of our eight residents, it was a
triumph, because of how their hands and arms would not work, to
move food from a plate to a spoon to their mouths. It was so much
work for some that they burned more calories in the process than
they could consume. But Larry was quite adept at the table, and
more than able to feed himself without assistance. So it was that
one lunch time, after an enthusiastic "let's eat," Larry picked
up a frankfurter, stuffed it into his mouth, and without a bite
or a chew, swallowed.    
   It took a moment or two for us to realize that Larry was not,
and could not breathe. Larry began to turn red, and then a deeper
red, and then began a series of very frightening expressions and
movements. Time seemed to stop as we watched him struggle for
air. What was usually quite a raucous time in the group home,
became suddenly very quiet, as every resident realized a very
critical event was taking place. I was saying to myself, Larry is
suffocating, this cannot happen, Larry can't die, not here at
lunch, not on this day ... I was terrified. After an interminable
amount of time, longer than I thought Larry could go with air,
something gave way there in his throat. With an incredible gasp,
and a violent shaking of his entire body, Larry breathed again,
and said, "mmmmm thank you."    
   There have been times in the past year in the Church of the
Brethren when some of us probably felt as though we couldn't
breathe. There have been times when many of us have been
frustrated and dismayed, and angered or annoyed. There have been
times when it felt as through there was no right answer and there
was nothing we could do to help. These have been difficult times
for many persons. My prayer for the church this morning, is that
through the difficult times, through these days of uncertainty,
we might each remain thankful. We have been richly blessed as a
people, and the richness of our history, the wealth of our
tradition, is not diminished by any feelings we might have today.
As in every circumstance, we do have much for which to be
thankful. And being thankful is an important part of our
discipleship.    
   Being close, being quiet and being thankful are aspects of our
discipleship which can serve us well. The cost of this
discipleship is the setting aside of those things that prevent
our spiritual life from deepening. In the Gospel of Luke, chapter
5, the disciples had fished all night and caught nothing, when
Jesus instructed them to launch out into the deep. They had
worked all night and not prospered, and seemed to be annoyed at
this instruction. But when they followed Jesus' instruction they
caught more than one boat could hold. They caught so many fish
the boat began to sink.    
   My prayer is that we will not be sorrowful as was the rich
young ruler, when he counted the cost of discipleship. My prayer
for us together, is that we might each abandon ourselves to the
will of God, by launching out into the depth of God's love for
us. Our greatest gift to the church of tomorrow will be the
strengthening of our discipleship today today; by being close,
being quiet and being thankful. Amen.   


Richard Hanley serves as Western Plains District executive and is
based in McPherson, Kan.  

To order an audio tape ($4.95) or video tape ($15.95) of this
sermon, contact Brethren Press at 800 441-3712 or
Brethren.Press.parti@Ecunet.Org.   

1997 Church of the Brethren Annual Conference, Long Beach, Calif.
July 6, 1997